Fears of going back 

The massive fear of going back into depression is over eating because it’s easy for me to deal with it and escape from the pain. This is the first sign of me going into depression because that’s how I cope with it after that I’ve been doing so well. The second sign is sleeping a lot even if I’m not been sleeping very well. The third sign is withdrawing myself from everyone because it’s hard to talk about it with the family. Here’s a story what it feels like being in my head.

What do you want from me? 

Hey, slow it down, ‘what do you want from me? ‘Yeah, I’m afraid,  because I don’t want to go back that way. ‘What do you want from me? What do you want from me?’ I scream with tears rolling down my face because I didn’t want to be there anymore. There might of been a time when I would give myself away but once upon a time I didn’t give a damn when you were ready to take me back down that road. I knew I was stronger than you back then. Now here we are squaring up to each other I asked you ‘what do you want from me?’ you stood there with a smile with your hand outstretch.

I just don’t give up because I am working it out I tell myself please don’t give in because I know won’t let myself down. I’ve messed myself up and I need a second to breathe but the depression figure just keeps on coming round…..




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