So last Friday I launched a new evening post for you guys and thought I’ll do a post for Friday’s every week. So everyday I’ll do my normal daily post about whatever topic it is. On Fridays post of my recap post I’ll do a post of what I’ve done during the week. Outside of blogging. So I better find a notebook and pen then for the following week because I’ve been writing it straight up from my drafts. Haha.
Friday Last Week: So Friday last week was like the most crappy day turning good by the evening. This was because my anxiety was so bad I didn’t want to go out wanted to stay home; due to because people were stressing me out and my medication was kicking making me feel ill.
Then got into the town things had started to grow worse. People around me where walking around either what felt like they were getting closer and closer to my inner personal space and walking slowly and the immediately stopping in front of you. The worst bit is someone in a store as I was waiting to be served was eating normally doesn’t bother me but that day it did. I wanted to vomit so bad to the point of leaving because either the person who was going to serve me next hurry up or I would walk. Then another person was pacing up and down getting closer to my inner personal space to the point of I was getting very hyperventilating and almost blacking out. Them finally I was my turn and I could leave. As I was going to the bus stop I dropped I into Burger King to get some food to see if I could get rid of this feeling sick but I wanted to eat it at home. So I did.
As soon as I got home I had my food that’s when I started to feel a bit better but not brilliant but it was something. I thought I’ll have a sleep before my friend came over to stay. By the time I had a few hours sleep I felt a more better than I was at the start of the day and it wasn’t long until my friend had arrived. Had a lovely evening with them and I was so relaxed like I didn’t have a bad day what so ever.
Saturday: We both didn’t actually wake up until 10:10 I had almost had a good night sleep for the first time in weeks. Minus my friend I think had a nightmare because they woke up suddenly as soon as I was actually falling sleep which woke me up. Not fair and I told them it’s okay it’s okay your safe. They were like huh! But they don’t even remember what happened in the morning so I didn’t bother asking if they remembered or not. I took them back to the train station and said our good byes.
As I was thinking of going home I thought I’ll better buy my grandparents two birthday cards for my sister and aunt so I went to Clintons card shop not the Clinton family guys! They don’t own it. Found two cards that seem to be the prefect for the people in mind along with age stick on numbers for one of the kids. Thought it would be an excuse for me to go round there and see them. Like I remember what my grandma would be like forgetting that she asks the same question a dazon times. I was like so far so good she only repeated herself with an insult which is funny though until she snuck it in at the last minute as I was leaving. By saying “no running” I laughed as I replied “how old do you think I am” she laughed as well with the comeback. She doesn’t mean to but that’s who she is now and I love her for it.
As I got home had lunch and I was deciding weather to got to the gym or not. I did go but more and more as I was heading towards the Surrey Sports Park I really didn’t want to go. The whole depression and anxiety started to kick in once more. I was only there for about half an hour or so and I couldn’t take it because someone was starting to freak me out by checking their watch every few seconds I was like not as much as a distraction for other people then. Along with my head wasn’t really in the frame of mind in the first place.
I came home as I couldn’t meet up with someone and my nerves where getting bad by the time I got home due to a few people on the bus. So I just had a chilled evening alone.
Sunday: I slept all day practally and had a few arguments or disagreements whatever you like to call it. Then by the evening I had a friend staying over to keep me company because it does get a bit lonely sometimes but he’s a good friend of mine where he knows when I’m feeling down and wants to look after me. He’s one of those friends who knows what buttons to press to wind me up and make me laugh.
Monday: well I was supposed to have a friend round for the evening and staying over before he had to go back home but he let me down because he chose his friend over me because his friend needed help to get his bike back to Essex or something like that. I never felt so mad and hurt it was like I was looking forward to it all summer and for months but cancelled. It was like why does this keep on happening to me sort of thing but it didn’t matter anyways. I had to order my medication and do a bit of house work. Which I still needed to do. By the way I’m writing the last three days on Tuesday haha. Nothing much after that other than Netflix for the rest of time.
Tuesday: I managed to get out of the house with a little help with my cousin and aunt we went to see The BFG absolutely loved it one of my favourite films. There’s a few other films that I would like to see as well but I think I wait until they come out on DVD me thinks. Sat at my aunts for awhile and then came home and found out whilst I was at my aunts been let down again. By that stage I was like I’m done with it all but he new it couldn’t be helped. So just sat watching Netflix and had a break down. However feeling okay now.